Apple Of My Eye

It didn’t take long for Brogan Ruytenberg and Antony Hembrow to realise that they were meant to be together. Call it gut instinct, love at first sight, the power of attraction — whatever intangible force drew them towards one another on meeting, it refused to let up. In fact, Antony tells me that it was on their very first date that he said to himself, “this is the woman I am going to marry.” From then, it only took two weeks for the couple’s feelings to evolve from intrigue to love, two months for them to move in together and a few years before they were eloping in the city that they would eventually call home.

"I think the biggest indication of real love is how your partner makes you feel about yourself,” Brogan tells me, “and while I have fallen more and more in love with Ant over the years, I’ve also learned to love myself, and that has come from being fully accepted for who I am, not just the person I was when we met, but all the versions of myself that I have grown into."

“I think the biggest indication of real love is how your partner makes you feel about yourself.”

From the outside, the connection between these two is palpable. Supporting one another as they navigate various challenges and changes with a dexterity born from understanding and patience, Brogan and Antony feel like partners in every sense of the word. As Antony articulates, “we find humour in everything, we cackle at the most idioctic things, we cry laughing far too often to be considered sane. But, we know when to take a minute, we are both analytically minded and know when to step back and to try and see things from one another’s perspectives.”

A few years into their relationship, while on a trip to Byron Bay, Antony worked up the courage to ask Brogan the question he had been considering since their first date. As Brogan tells me, “even after months of relentlessly sending him ring inspiration and hints, I still didn’t see it coming!” And despite Antony (by his own admission) definitely not playing it cool, the Natasha Schweitzer ring he designed for Brogan was an exquisite representation of their commitment. It was a uniquely mismatched three-stone setting that featured two diamonds gifted to Antony by his mum alongside a striking marquise diamond that was procured separately.

In contemplating the prospect of a wedding, Brogan tells me that she and Antony were torn between a more traditional event with friends and family in Wanaka (Brogan is Australian and Antony is a New Zealander) and something smaller and more intimate which ultimately, felt like a truer reflection of them. In the end, they decided to make the most of a trip they had already planned to New York and, as Brogan says, “sneak in a wedding while we were there.”

"The magic of eloping is that all the fluff falls by the wayside and it allows you to evaluate what parts of a wedding are actually meaningful to you as a couple,” says Brogan. “Once we put together our non-negotiables like a beautiful space for vows, an amazing dinner to celebrate with our close family and great photography, then most other things just didn’t seem necessary.” Indeed, for Brogan (who works in fashion) and Antony (an interior designer) curating a tasteful elopement was a breeze, with Brogan tapping into her networks to organise everything from Sydney. Her dress was an impossibly chic design from Saint Laurent’s 2022 Spring Ready to Wear collection (“I am a power-shoulder girl, after all,” she says), while her hair, makeup and flowers were arranged easily on the day. She also engaged photographer Jen Steele (a New York local) to take the photos in her signature, documentary style.

“The magic of eloping is that all the fluff falls by the wayside and it allows you to evaluate what parts of a wedding are actually meaningful to you as a couple.”

The site of the ceremony was the Corner Studio in Chelsea with Brogan telling me that she walked into the venue to the sound of ‘Godspeed,’ by James Blake. Then, the newly-married couple enjoyed glasses of celebratory champagne at Balthazar in SoHo before wandering over to Estela, where they had booked the private dining room for dinner and drinks that continued late into the night. “Walking the streets of SoHo hand in hand with Brogan in full wedding garb, laughing about how we had pulled off this perfect and unorthodox wedding together in such a short time was exactly what we wanted,” Antony says. “Standing in that sun drenched studio with Brogan and hearing her read her vows to me was something that I will carry with me for my entire life.”

For Brogan, it is Antony’s fiercely loyal, passionate and selfless nature that she values most. “He cares deeply about his loved ones,” she tells me, “and he is also hilarious and whip smart.” She continues, “I call him The Fact Checker,” she laughs, “always making sure the truth does get in the way of a good story.” For Ant, it is Brogan’s innate ability to make people feel warm in her presence, her humble and dedicated approach to life and work. “She’s truly an exceptional woman,” Ant says proudly. “I love everything about her.” He grins, “OK, maybe not how she stacks the dishwasher.”

When Antony’s beloved mum, Terri, passed away suddenly in 2021 and lockdowns prevented him from being able to travel home to say his goodbyes, it was Brogan’s unwavering support that saw him through — a time that both cite as the most challenging they have had to face. It highlights the resilience that can arise in a couple whose relationship is so based on trust, communication and on finding moments of brevity, even in the face of the most harrowing adversity. More recently, Brogan and Antony made the move permanently to New York, both quickly landing jobs, adopting new routines and seemingly settling into life in the Big Apple with characteristic aplomb.

When asked to reflect on their journey so far and what the future holds, Brogan is thoughtful. “I think we’ve really learned that marriage requires compromise and flexibility alongside a firm position on what you both expect — respect, unconditional love and commitment.” She pauses. “More than anything, you have to be on the same page in all aspects of life otherwise you will constantly be fighting for what you want. We have always been aligned, and for that we are so lucky.”

Antony, for his part, is straight to the point. “Babies now please, I’m ready!”