Home is Where the Heart is

Zoë Philpott and Dan Stoneman had already been together for nearly 20 years when Dan asked Zoë to marry him, choosing to do so in a characteristically unflustered manner over their morning coffee. It was a beautifully simple and meaningful moment for a couple who value authenticity, home and family above all else. “I had accepted that the wedding ship had probably sailed,” Zoë tells me with a laugh. “So when he proposed at home on my 35th birthday, it was the happiest surprise… I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited.”

Having met when they were 18 and 19, Zoë and Dan’s love story began as a heady teenage romance. “It was inseparable love from the beginning,” says Zoë, “and since then, we have essentially grown up together.” She continues, “really, we have been together for half of our lives so our relationship has expanded and evolved more than we can wrap our heads around.”

“It was inseparable love from the beginning and since then, we have essentially grown up together.”

Anyone who knows these two can see how comfortably they complement one another, relating with the kind of ease and effortlessness that can only come with time. Even now, after so many years building their life, Zoë and Dan still feel, in many ways, like they are just at the start of their journey. Their rapport is underscored by a deep respect and understanding. Even as they continue to navigate the various challenges (and numerous joys) of life with young children, Zoë and Dan maintain a lightness and love between them that harkens back to the giddy obsession with which their partnership began, all those years ago. A truly rare quality. Indeed, to those who believe in soulmates, Zoë and Dan would surely fall within the purview of that particular romantic stereotype.

For Zoë, it is Dan’s quiet confidence that she values most. “He operates at an ultra-high level but has this incredible ability to do everything so graciously and discreetly, whether professionally or at home,” she says. “He brings the peace, calm and happiness everyday. I call him my gentle gentleman.” And just as Dan delivers serenity, Zoë brings (as Dan explains) “a sparkle and energy that is hard to describe.” He pauses, “she is undefinable… She is honest in every sense, she speaks, lives and embodies her own truth and she is as elegant and gracious as she is outrageously loud and silly.” He continues, smiling, “everyone who truly knows her knows what I’m talking about.”

“The ceremony was unexpectedly emotional for us, in a really lovely way. It just felt so raw and poignant, an honest expression of our love.”

When it came time to decide on a wedding venue, it’s hardly surprising that Zoë and Dan quickly agreed on their home in Auckland as the only real option. Both the site of their engagement and the backdrop to so many happy memories, Zoë and Dan’s beautiful space set the stage for an exquisitely intimate ceremony and reception, with a small guest list and perfectly appointed details. “We did all the planning and prep ourselves,” Zoë tells me, “and it felt seamless because it was all just an extension of us.”

From shoulder tapping their favourite restaurant, Pici, to do the catering, to appointing their close friend as their celebrant, Zoë and Dan curated every aspect of their wedding to speak to their unique story. “The ceremony was unexpectedly emotional for us, in a really lovely way,” says Zoë. “It just felt so raw and poignant, an honest expression of our love.”

Despite there not being a traditional aisle, the couple walked through the house to their ceremony in the backyard to the sound of ‘And The Living Is Easy’ by Guts. “All the guests were there already and so when we arrived we charged through the house together,” Zoë explains. “I was so excited and went ahead of Dan, and amongst the excitement he stood on my jacket/veil and a few of my buttons at the front popped open,” she laughs, “it was shambolic and funny, but we were so happy and in the moment we just pushed on through.”

For Zoë, known for her exceptional taste and effortless style, the idea of being a bride (in any conventional sense) felt a foreign concept. “I had no vision,” she says, when asked where she started with her wedding look. “Honestly I was almost repelled by anything bridal.” It wasn’t until she was sorting through some old things that Zoë stumbled upon her Mum’s wedding coat (it was preserved immaculately and fit her perfectly), trying it on to discover that it was exactly what she had been looking for. “I am extremely close with my Mum so it was an honour to wear something that held such special significance to her,” she says. “I styled it with some old trousers by The Row that worked well and I had a cream bodice made.” Dan, ever the dapper counterpart to Zoë’s elegant ensembles, opted for a tailor made, slim-fit suit from Crane Brothers, finished in a beautiful, deep green, Italian wool.

From the thoughtfully curated food and drinks to the minimalist decor to the cosy comfortability that came from the home setting, Zoë and Dan’s wedding exemplified the power of subtle details. In the couple’s careful planning and focus on what was important, they created an incredibly special event that didn’t need grand, sweeping gestures or big moments to make an impact. Rather, the beauty of the day lay in the deep connection between the couple and everyone in the room, and the sense of gravitas that came from celebrating a love that had already spanned decades.

"When my best friend spoke at the wedding," Zoë says, “she reflected on our relationship, saying that Dan and I never compromise.” She pauses. “I had never thought about us like that and it resonated. She spoke about how happiness in relationships is having the freedom to be exactly who you are without compromising any part of you… and I do believe this is true for me and Dan. We have a genuine respect and admiration for one another, and I think that is the foundation of our togetherness.”

Looking to the future, Zoë tells me that she and Dan are focused on creating more special memories with their kids in the home that has become such a sanctuary for their family. “Rufus and Tempi are the light,” Zoë tells me with a smile. “They have brought us immeasurable joy, and we cherish every minute with them.” If there is a lesson to be learnt from Zoë and Dan’s approach to matrimony, perhaps it is that some of the old cliches really do ring true: good things take time, home is where the heart is and it's the little moments that matter most.