Lucky In Love

It was Friday the 13th when Jamie Ashkar spotted a man in a turtleneck and a trench coat on a dance floor and decided to approach. Neither of them had planned to be out that night. “My girlfriend spotted Matt,” Jamie tells me. “And he looked so adorable I decided to join him for a dance.” From that fateful encounter he says, “everything just fell into place and we haven't looked back since.”

That was 2018. Seven years, one Victorian terrace house and a cavoodle named Brooklyn later and Jamie and Matt sit opposite me with the easy air of two people who have long since found their rhythm. Matthew, a Hawke's Bay-born interior stylist and Jamie, a designer across fashion and home have built something that feels effortless and connected. Together, they have weathered the ebbing and flowing of life with a foundation of friendship and a love that feels unencumbered by conditions. “What began as an instant connection has become a shared life,” Jamie reflects, “we laugh a lot, we love an adventure and we really just align on so many core values.” So it’s hardly surprising, then, that after a few years the question of a proposal began circling.

It was Jamie who got there first, and true to form, did it his way. A trip to Paris was coming, a Christmas escape that Matthew had, not unreasonably, begun to think could be the perfect setting for something significant. “But I thought it felt a little too predictable for us,” Jamie tells me. And so, two weeks before their flight, on an unremarkable Saturday morning, Brooklyn between them, Jamie found his moment to ask. “It was simple, intimate and so meaningful,” he tells me. “Our happy place in every sense.”

“...everything just fell into place and we haven't looked back since.”

What Jamie didn't know was that Matthew had been quietly planning the same thing. In fact, both had gone to the same jeweller (Hamish Munro) and nearly crossed paths in the process. Matthew's ring hadn't been collected in time, so his counter-proposal had to wait until Christmas Eve in Paris, with champagne and dinner at their favourite bistro in Le Marais. “We really did it our way,” Jamie tells me, laughing, “it was a proposal story that felt truly ours.”

When it came to the wedding, there was never any question of a conventional affair. Both men work in industries built on taste and style, and so naturally, those instincts extended to every element of the day. Eventually, they settled on Masseria Pistola in Puglia as the venue and a deliberately small guest list of fifty. “We wanted our wedding to feel intimate and personal,” Jamie explains. “We didn't care about tradition so much and wanted it to feel more like a beautifully curated experience just for our closest people.” The vision was refined minimalism, softened by the warmth of the Italian south. As Matthew articulates, “we focused on incorporating clean, modern elements to exist in quiet contrast to the beautiful, natural landscapes and historic surroundings.”

Of course, planning a destination wedding is no mean feat, and for Jamie and Matthew, coordinating everything from Melbourne required trust and a good sprinkling of luck. Fortunately, their coordinator Federica Barnaba held things together on the ground while the pair stayed closely involved from afar. When they finally met their caterer Alba in person, she arrived, as Jamie articulates, looking like “she had walked off Gucci's runway — entourage and all,” he laughs, “we knew we had made the right decision.”

The styling was a study in simplicity. Handcrafted ceramics and soft linens kept the tablescape grounded while chrome spheres and a tulle draped champagne tower introduced impactful moments of drama against the earthy, cream tones of the 17th-century masseria and its sprawling, botanical surrounds. Each place card sat atop a personal letter to every guest, “a small gesture of gratitude,” Jamie says, “for travelling so far to share in our day.” Their approach throughout, he explains, was one of restraint: “We felt the property and its surroundings should be the true hero, so rather than adding more, we focused on thoughtful details that quietly elevated the experience.”

“We wanted our wedding to feel intimate and personal. We didn't care about tradition so much and wanted it to feel more like a beautifully curated experience just for our closest people.”

Both Jamie and Matthew explain that they each considered their outfits for the day very carefully. “Coming from a fashion background, I've always believed in going out and falling in love with something and buying it,” Jamie tells me. “It removes the uncertainty, the guesswork, and the anxiety." He wore an oversized Mugler suit (complete with the bold shoulders and elongated lines characteristic of that designer) finished with a sculptural silk satin bow he designed himself, draping to the floor. “A little bit of drama,” he says, smiling. Matthew wore Jacquemus, a double-breasted blazer and low-slung button-front trousers from the La Croisière collection, finished with a bespoke bow tie made from the same cotton as his shirt. “A chic, personal touch,” he tells me.

Good music was another thing that was non-negotiable. “It's a big part of our life,” Jamie tells me, explaining how they both start their day with a playlist alarm that blasts music as soon as they wake up. A violinist carried the ceremony and champagne hour, an Italian swing band shifted the energy at lunch and after sunset, a DJ and saxophonist moved the night forward, opening with traditional Lebanese songs. “It immediately brought everyone in," Jamie says. Their first dance was to Olivia Dean's 'The Man I Need.'

The moment neither of them planned (and the one they cannot stop talking about) came as the wedding cake was presented. The day before, they had been told a supermoon was coming and when the cake came out, the sky turned pink and the moon rose, enormous, above the masseria. “We looked at each other in disbelief,” Jamie says, “is this actually happening?” Some things cannot be curated.

What strikes me, speaking to Jamie and Matthew, is not the beauty of the life they have built together though it is considerable, but the steadiness underneath. Matthew describes the way Jamie loves “with his whole heart, and without hesitation.” He talks about watching him from across a room, always struck by “how completely present he is, how he listens, how he remembers the small details, how he makes people feel like they matter. There's a generosity in him that isn't performative. It's just who he is.”

Jamie, for his part, keeps returning to the ordinary. “What I treasure most is our everyday,” he tells me. “The quiet mornings, the after-work conversations, dinner together and the small, silly, in-between moments that no one else sees. Whether we're doing everything or absolutely nothing, being with Matthew and Brooklyn feels like home.”

The relationship works, they agree, because they make space for all of it, the strengths and the quirks. “There are days where I know he needs some space to clean the house,” Jamie laughs, “and there are days I know he needs help to clean the house. Knowing what kind of clean is important.” But underlying the humour is something more considered. “Love isn't just about the big moments. It's about showing up, choosing each other, and leaning in even when it's hard,” Matthew says, looking over. Jamie nods, “being chosen again and again and choosing each other through every version of ourselves.”

What comes next, they say, might just involve a baby brother or sister for Brooklyn. But ask either of them what they're most looking forward to, and the answer is about making time for now and for appreciating a life that, in all the ways that matter, already feels complete.

This wedding was originally published in VEIL Issue Two. Discover this celebration, along with many more inspiring weddings, editorials, and stories in the full issue. Purchase your copy here.