Stand By Me

When Sean Patrick Mahoney and Tau Subritzky reflect on the beginnings of their love story, they can’t help but laugh at the sheer ordinariness of it all. “It’s common knowledge in our friend group that we met on Grindr,” Tau says with a wry smile. “At the time, neither of us could have imagined we’d be meeting our future husbands on an app — but meeting online is so much more common now than when we were growing up.”

That said, their first date was anything but ordinary. They’d chosen Madame George on Karangahape Road — now closed, but still vivid in their memories — and instead of an intimate dinner for two, Sean was quickly folded into Tau’s world. “Usually when you meet someone for a date, you ideally want it to be private,” Sean recalls. “Our first date was far from that. I ended up meeting so many of Tau’s friends, some of whom even sat at the table while we shared a prawn laksa and cassava fries. It was definitely an interesting introduction.”

Still, there was an undeniable ease between them. “Beyond the surface-level attraction, we found conversation came really naturally,” Tau says. “When we were together, it felt like we didn’t need to try. We could just be ourselves.”

Nearly a decade later, the couple have built a life together in a chic Grey Lynn apartment, filled with the spoils of their creative lives. Sean manages Colleen salon, while Tau works as a freelance stylist and costume designer alongside his role at Balenciaga. “Sometimes it feels like it’s been no time at all, and other times it feels like an eternity,” Sean says. “But specifically? We’ve been together for just over nine years.”

That stretch of time has brought its share of joys and challenges. “We’ve been through a lot of life together now,” Tau reflects. “Some of the more difficult aspects too. We know each other’s quirks, we know what pisses each other off, and we know how best to support one another. At the start of a relationship, you want to keep everything light and fun. But life isn’t always like that — learning how to be there for each other has been the biggest evolution.”

When it came to the idea of marriage, the couple tell me that it had been on the cards for some time before they actually started planning. They’d casually browsed rings together, even joked about what Tau’s gown might look like. Then, one afternoon before a holiday in Thailand, they found the ring: a De Beers Forevermark diamond set in a wide platinum band from Partridge.

By May the following year, Sean decided it was time and, after careful planning, he orchestrated the perfect proposal. “I had set up a camera in our living room to record the proposal,” he says. “Tau was showered, dressed, ready to go out. Before leaving, I asked him to marry me.”

The surprise didn’t end there. “What Sean had actually planned was a dinner with all our closest friends,” Tau recalls. “They’d all known for weeks. So what I thought was just going to be a date night turned into a celebration.”

Given their backgrounds in fashion, it comes as no surprise that the wedding itself — held in August this year — was conceived with a distinctive creative vision. “The visual details were obviously very important to us,” Tau says. “But beyond the fabulous outfits and the meticulously planned setting, we wanted the day to feel casual, like a party.”

So, instead of a sit-down dinner, the couple opted for a sprawling grazing table. “After being wedding guests ourselves, we realised the most memorable thing was always the social aspect,” Sean explains. “Drinking, dancing, letting loose, having a good time — that’s what we wanted.”

“...beyond the fabulous outfits & the meticulously planned setting, we wanted the day to feel casual, like a party.”

Tau led with mood boards, piecing together the aesthetic direction, while Sean’s meticulous planning made it all possible. Friends were integral: “We had two close friends — Jo Mickelborough, who has so much experience in events, and Benjamin Alexander, whose aesthetic vision aligned with ours,” Tau says. “They were sounding boards throughout the whole process.”

The couple’s trust in their community extended to the bridal party, too. Tau handed his friends a brief — white, silver and pink — and left them to interpret it in their own ways. “One made their own dress, two wore vintage, another had a dress made. They’ve all worked in fashion, film, or music, so I trusted them completely.”

The ceremony unfolded inside Michael Lett’s gallery space, where high-fashion glamour was set against the stripped-back architecture. Floor-standing candleholders by Peter Rogers glowed against hired seating from The Vitrine, while lighting by Angus Muir Design transformed the space into something celestial. The grazing table, dressed by Benjamin Alexander, became the focal point — abundant, foraged, theatrical.

Music was equally important. “Selecting the right song for Tau to walk down the aisle to was a process,” Sean says, laughing. They eventually chose Florence + The Machine’s soaring cover of Stand By Me. “We wanted our guests to be overwhelmed by the beauty of it, maybe even shed a tear,” Tau adds. The tradition of a first dance was replaced with something more true to their style: two DJs (close friends of theirs) turned the reception into a dance party.

Both grooms wore Balenciaga, each styling their suits to reflect personal taste. Tau paired his with satin mules, a shirt from Y/Project, and Swarovski earrings. Sean wore a Balenciaga jacket, styled with a custom Crane Brothers shirt and tie, and satin trousers gifted by long-time friend and client Kate Sylvester.

"We love clothes — sometimes to the detriment of our savings,” Tau says with a grin. “But working at Balenciaga meant we could wear some really beautiful pieces.” Hair and make-up were kept minimal. “Sean had his hair cut a few days before. I’ve got little to no hair, so nothing needed doing there,” Tau laughs.

Despite the months of planning, when the day arrived, calm settled over both of them. “After planning something so important for so long, you’d expect emotions to run high,” Sean says. “But we actually felt really at ease. Everyone knew what they were doing. There was almost a sense of relief.”

Favourite moments are impossible to choose. “The cheers as the bridal party walked down the aisle, the nuptials themselves, the speeches, the dancing,” Tau recalls. “We’ll always remember the joy we felt.” And looking back now, the pair tell me that they wouldn’t change a thing. “Sure, we could have ordered a case less of Pinot Noir or had brighter lighting over the grazing table,” Sean muses. “But honestly, it was perfect.”

For both, the happiest moments in their relationship are less about grand gestures and more about small rituals. “Sharing a day off and going out for breakfast, little weekend adventures with friends,” Sean says. “Those are what we cherish.”

Travel has been formative too. “We’ve loved seeing the world together,” Tau adds. Buying their first apartment was another milestone — “one of the proudest, happiest moments,” Sean says.

The challenges, meanwhile, have been deeply human. “After this many years, we’ve lost some very important family members,” Tau reflects. “That’s been difficult.” But through it all, their philosophy has been simple: “We don’t need each other, we want to be together,” Sean says. “Despite being in a relationship, we remain individuals. We give each other freedom and space.”

For Sean, “patience” has been the biggest lesson they have had to learn as a couple. Tau nods. “We’ve learnt our flaws and strengths. If one of us isn’t good at something, the other steps in. It’s our way of supporting each other.”

And it is with this sense of always growing together, and of mutual support and understanding, that, on their wedding day, Sean and Tau celebrated what they’ve always chosen — one another, unconditionally.